August 13, 2007
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Wow! We've got a great dialogue going here about women's friendships. Thanks so much to all of you who have already responded. (Please check out the comments on my last post.) If you haven't chimed in yet, it's not too late. What about you, Father J? You have had a unique vantage point from which to observe women's friendships, as a priest.
And felgild? I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Innacanoe? I know you are an expert in women's friendships!
What about the rest of you, my friends? I'm anxious to hear your input.
Women: What do your women friends mean to you? What makes women's friendships so vital, and so deep?
Men, have you ever felt a little threatened, or maybe mystified, by the depths of your wivfe's or girlfriends' friendships with other women?
Comments (5)
I have some very sweet friendship but just a few intimate godly relationship that I value as one of my greatest gifts from God. These few women have taken their time to mentor me over the years and I thank our Father often for this special gift He has given me. I think a godly friendship is so valuable and that God uses godly women to encourage us, to exhort us, to rebuke us to help us in our growth to become more Christlike. There are also many warnings about the dangers involved in those who are the 'companion of fools'.
Annie mockingbird, I think you are trying to get me in trouble. My wife has a xanga
Generally speaking, people only have a few close friends. Most can count the number on their hand. When you are single you have all kinds, when you are married, your partner and children consume the time you'd give to others by and large. There is nothing wrong with this, however, I believe many women do get together and bash their husbands, somewhat in somewhat way. I hear women griping about their spouse all the time. i think it's an outlet for them but I wish they'd stop. They set themselves up for negative experiences when they see their spouse again. Men do too, but not very often (my experience anyway). Men usually don't talk about their wives when they get together. We are more interested in guy talk etc. (generally). I guess the only gossip pit might be the barber shop or the old guys that get together for coffee early in the morning
I think women need other relationships, but they also need to be aware of influences, good and bad...guys too.
I thought I'd chime in about the male bashing (I'm Felgild's wife btw). Not all women get together and male bash or complain about their husbands.
Something may be said if we are frustrated but it isn't an ongoing conversation. I mainly have acquaintances. I have 2 women that I consider to be close friends. Work and family takes up the majority of my time.
I feel uncomfortable in responding to your query because for now I have problems with your premise, "that for a woman, close friendships with other women are a vital ingredient to happiness."
First, you must note that my experience is that I have never had parents, siblings, relatives or friends that just the men get together or women get together. This breaking off from those you are around daily in order to be with someone of your same sex in the name of friendship is foreign to my experience. Second, I feel it is too strong of a statment to say that a woman having another woman/women as close friend(s) is "a vital ingredient to happiness." My experience is that a good "frienship" can be an important part to happiness, but a close friendship with a person of the same sex being a "vital ingredient to happiness" I can't agree with. Third, my response is colored by the fact that I have both men and women that I would consider close friends. I am friends with each for different reasons because each helps call me to accountability and affirms me in different ways. Fourth, several of your fans responses talked about women getting together to bash husbands. My experience and observation has been that most friends when they get together (man, female or mixed groups) talk about their frustrations with those they are close too. If the motivation is to see if the others think you are crazy or making more of things then I think that the talk is helpful. However, if it is talking for the sake of talking, in the midst of "friends" to build yourself up and put others down, well then I would say that the group are not truely friends. JUST MY PONDERINGS.
I'm certainly never threatened or mystified by Cyndy's friendships. Her friendships make me happy! Anything that builds her up and fulfills her is good.