March 5, 2008
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"Get your head on straight."
When I was a high school
English teacher, I used to hear the football coach telling his boys on
the day of a game, "Get your head on straight." I think what the coach
meant was, "Start thinking about winning the game."
Concentrate on
what you're supposed to be doing tonight. Think about crossing the goal
line. Think about blocking your man. Think about kicking the ball and
seeing it go between the uprights. Think about your pass landing right
in your receiver's hands. Think about winning the game.
To me,
getting my head on straight means wrestling my thoughts from the
negative to the positive, disciplining myself look on the bright side
instead of dwelling on the dark side of things.
Sometimes it's a lot
easier to think about the negative. It doesn't take any effort to think
about all the things that are wrong or are not going the way I’d hoped
they would. It doesn't take any effort to look around me and find
things that other people aren't doing to suit me. It doesn't take any
effort to complain about my aches and pains or my problems. It doesn't
take any effort to feel sorry for myself. It seems to come pretty
naturally to complain and gripe and grumble and moan and whine.
My
dad used to warn us about following "the path of least resistance."
When we were growing up, he'd tell me and my sisters not to be like
water running down a hill, which naturally just follows the path where
there is nothing in its way. He'd urge us to make our own paths, and
not just be lazy and do whatever took the least effort.
Sometimes it
takes me very little effort to look on the dark side of things, to
count up everything that's wrong, to list all my grievances and
disappointments, and, I’m sorry to say, to burden the people around me
by talking about all these negatives.
But even though the process is
easy, the pay-off is painful. The reward for this kind of thinking is a
bad mood. It's grouchiness. It's feeling sorry for myself. It's
irritability. It's discouragement. It's the blues. And it can be
contagious. Negativism not only makes me unhappy — it makes everybody
else around me feel bad.
"Get your head on straight."
People who
don't know me very well sometimes get the impression that I'm basically
a positive person, a person to whom "looking on the bright side" comes
naturally. This isn’t completely true. While there are times in my life
when it’s easy for me to be cheerful and see the good in situations and
people around me, there are other times when my melancholy, pessimistic
streak comes to the fore and threatens to take over, and I have to be
careful not to feed it.
For me, part of keeping my head on straight is to be careful what I put INTO my head.
Computer wisdom says, "Garbage in, garbage out."
It's
the same thing with our minds, I think. If we feed them with dark,
depressing, violent, or melancholy things — books, movies, music, video
games — then what we're going to get out is anxiety and depression and
worry and despair and discouragement.
This also applies to the
people we choose to spend our time with. At this point in my life, I'm
not going to choose to spend much of my spare time with somebody who’s
constantly throwing off shrapnel of anger or bitterness or self-pity,
someone who is continually complaining. All those negative things are
not only unpleasant to listen to — they can actually wound us. They can
scratch our peace. They can scrape away our hard-won optimism. They can
take the shine off of our joy.
This is not to say that we shouldn't
offer a listening ear to someone who needs to talk over a problem, or
to show compassion to someone who is suffering. I'm talking about
choosing to protect ourselves, to armor ourselves against, people who
have chosen to habitually spread darkness instead of light.
So
here's what seems to work best for me when I'm struggling against
pessimism or bitterness or melancholy: to do the old-fashioned,
time-tested good things, like counting my blessings, and thanking the
Lord for the gifts in my life. Trying to consciously look for the good
in the people around me. Trying to point out the good things that I
see, rather than the bad ones. Reading books that lift my heart or
shine light into my life, rather than those that depress me or cause a
shadow to fall over my joy. Doing something nice for somebody else. And
seeking out people who radiate light and joy.
I try to remember St.
Paul's advice: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is
honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything
worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
St. Paul never fails to help me in my struggle to get my head on straight.By Celia DeWoody
Copyright 2008 Harrison Daily Times
Harrison, Arkansas
Comments (8)
Well, you know that I just have to add a big, "AMEN" to that!
Now that was worth every minute I just spent reading this! WOW... thank you for sharing that! I am taking this to heart and adding it to my email so I can read it again and again!
Thanks again! Kerri
Oh, I thought Av would like that one. I did, too. I particularly like "throwing off shrapnel." Very visual. The quote of Paul's is one of my very favorite -- and actually, one that I quote in every school. I tell them that there's great advice in the Bible: if anything is excellent, they should think about these things. That verse does indeed govern my thinking about what I read and watch.
I've had some very interesting conversations with my son, Nathan, about the "worldview" of movies and literature. In essence, I want to expose my mind to things that will encourage, strengthen, empower me -- that will underline redemption in the broadest sense of the word. He says, the problem is that modern literature (and movies, judging by the two highest acclaim movies at the Oscars) displays a worldview that tries to paint realistic pictures about man and his fallenness. I've had enough of those realistic pictures. I get it. Man has a great capability for evil.
So, I think you're right. We should fill our lives with things that lift us up. And just as Paul said, our own words should build up our hearers as well.
Here's the verse I just quoted:
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
There is such truth in what you've written! I've long been a preacher of the truth of "garbage in, garbage out," and it has been almost funny to see a couple of my former "congregation," who always thought their mom over-reacted, become "preachers" of this creed themselves, now that they are mommies of video-watching kiddies.
As one who usually sees the cup half-full, it is one of the biggest challenges of my life to deal with some close relations who have the opposite view. It takes constant, daily effort (REAL effort!) to live out the "whatsoever" verse, rather than be drawn into that negative sort of thinking. Quote it to myself, quote it to myself, and then quote it to myself again...that's what I must do!
Bet you'll get lots of very positive comments about this article! It's a good one and should be very helpful to many readers!
Celia, you're singing my song. Ever since I learned the life-giving importance of "keeping on the sunny side," I've preached this too. "Keeping my head on straight" kept me alive, and can (and does) change lives for the better. And that's how it's done--by always choosing to think about, read, view, and associate with those things that don't "scratch our peace, scrape away our optimism, and take the shine off of our joy (I love and thoroughly appreciate your way with words)."
I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
I don't think there's anyone that would say I've EVER been in my right mind, sooooo, trying to get my head on straight would probably be an exercise in futility!
I do agree with you in that it's so much easier to focus on all the um, *garbage* in our lives, our hearts, our minds. I just don't get that sometimes. I guess it's because maybe somewhere along the road we were told those things, are we saw just too much bad in the world.
I especially love it, though, we I reach those moments in my life where I basically say "Enough! I'm better than that! I'm a good person with good values and intentions. God loves me and those around me. Now, get off your butt and live it!" and then I do!
Thanks for the reminder....it's time again!
Good word, Celia, from a chronic obsessive optimist!! My oldest son says he gets confidence from my optimism, not a false confidence that doesn't reccognize the problems but a confidence that helps him believe there is a solution for every problem.